It's A Soldier! It's A Marine! No It's... a Cop?

Am I the only one who finds it down right offensive whenever I see some fat cops in OCP uniforms standing on a corner of some intersection in a giant gaggle fuck all because some dipshit domestic abuser is bunkered up in his house with a knife. I mean seriously what the fuck are they supposed to be blending into? You’re in the suburbs for fuck sake. I CAN SEE YOU, YOU’RE NOT BLENDING INTO SHIT. I mean imagine a soldier putting on a cop uniform and strutting around the local donut parlors. I’m pretty sure they’d be arrested. I’m not a barracks lawyer but I believe that’s called impersonating a police officer. ILLEGAL!

Then on top of it they got a fucking plate carrier dawned. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of those bitches ditched a plate or two in the trunk of their cruiser. Or maybe replaced it with the white pages. Most of the scary scary bad guys they're chasing are sporting a 9mm glocks anyway, that doesn’t get through much. By the look, you would think these dudes are about to raid Bin Laden’s compound. And then the fuckin helmets. Who the fuck gave these nerds DEVGRU helmets. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those high speed helmets with the ears cut out for your Peltors, the ones you Regulars would do anything for, even if it meant eating the waffle (maybe biscuit) that night.

Did Tactical Tailor have a sale? Because these cops got every piece of Gucci gear imaginable. I’m talking about all the pouches. Grenade pouches, flashbang pouches, IFAC pouches, flashlight pouches, canteen pouches, ASIP pouches, admin pouches, compass pouches and, I shit you not, a fucking E-Tool pouch. I can’t make this shit up. And inside everyone is what? Chocolate bars, not minis either, I’m talking full size chocolate bars. The ones you buy by the case from Costco. I mean don’t expect me to believe that Officer Sausage Fingers is walking around town with grenades. Let’s not forget about the 30 rd mag pouches for their full combat load though. Seriously. When was the last time a cop needed 210 rounds of 5.56 for a gun fight in America? Hollywood Shootout or the Narco Bank Robbery? Not even close. Seriously, you tell me the last time a cop in America needed 210 rounds of ammo and I’ll eat your ass! 

Now for the icing on the cake, an M fucking 4. I mean an M4 really. That’s like having a wife and never giving her the dick. That weapon was designed to get dirty, banged up and kill enemies of the United States of Fucking America. Not hang off the neck of some fat 11 Wannabe Cop. And if all that wasn’t enough these posers got pistols holstered on their thighs. Like this asshole is really about to go black on 5.56 and needs to pull out his sidearm. GET FUCKING REAL. I’m not buying it. Oh wait I guess I am because all of that wasted gear is being bought with our tax dollars. It should be going to the Soldiers and Marines who actually need it. You know the ones fighting the actual wars for our nation. Not the ones erroneously pulling over their hot wives while they're deployed.

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l combat load though. Seriously. When was the last time a cop needed 210 rounds of 5.56 for a gun fight in America? Hollywood Shootout or the Narco Bank