Veterans Day

Kah-Kah motherfuckers.

Another Veterans Day is upon us which means yes you are still living amongst the civilian scum that inhabit every corner of this Earth. Still regretting what you thought was the happiest day of your life, getting that DD214. Unfortunately the civilian world is met with disappointment after disappointment after motherfuckers. Everywhere we look we see nothing but rationalizing, unaccountable, disgusting, filled with fear civilians. So if you need a pick me up this Veterans Day or a reminder that you are still a bad ass, go ahead and read on. 

Hell yeah, Go Army!

Let's start with their fear. Every civilian I meet is full of fear, you can smell it. It’s that nauseating scent that enters your nostrils and sticks to your hairs whenever you walk into the local grocery store or dentist office. It took me about two years to remember what I was smelling. It’s that nostalgic smell that reminds you of your dads farts, the innocent times when you too were filled with fear. Fortunately for us this fear was scuffed out in red phase, and just like your feelings, it ain't coming back. Thank you Drill Sergeant. Walking into a public K-12 school is like that hour-long C-130 ride from Kuwait to Iraq, only now you don’t have an ACH to blow chunks in. You gotta swallow that shit like the hard ass Veteran war chiseled you out to be. 

Hell yeah, Go Marines!

Unaccountable assholes. Every single one of them has zero accountability. There’s always someone, something or some-mystical beings that cause these people to constantly fuck up. Never themselves though. They exude this behavior and it most likely boils down to pride. If their pride wasn’t in the way of their accountability they might just be able to say every once in awhile “My bad, I did fuck up and it was my fault. I’ll learn from this mistake and make sure it doesn’t happen again.” No, that might cause the very fabric of the universe to tear apart and send us all spiraling to our fiery deaths. I mean we all know civilians hate being out of their comfort zones and accountability is about as far away from that comfort zone as a 20 mile ruck march. 

Hell yeah, Go Navy!

Allow me to share a recent conversation I overheard while shopping at, let’s call it, Lobby Hobby. You tell me if you can spot the lack of accountability. This nice old lady was voicing her frustration about being told one thing on the phone but finding another to be true when arriving at the store. I do not recall her specific complaint but I do recall the upper level manager's response. The nerds flanking his left and right were the dead give away that this guy was from corporate. His answer on the issue wasn’t apologetic or empathetic, you know the B.S. upper management tells you to give customers all the time. No, it was a straight up blame game. “It’s our new employee's ma’am, who hasn't been fully trained, but are answering the phone.” What a pathetic shitbag. 

Hell yeah, Go Air Force!

The best part was, while this pathetic walking meat sack was going on about new employees and training, the store manager was literally training a new employee within ear shot of all of this. This wasn’t even hip-pocket training. This was an idea pulled out of my ass kind of training at best. This woman was just aimlessly walking this young girl around the store pointing out where everything was as if she's some blind disability hire. How about you stop giving her a tour of the store she’s been shopping in with her mom since she was on the tit and train her on what your boss is saying employees aren’t being trained on in aisle 7 you fucking fucktard.

Hell yeah, Go Coast Guard

Or here’s a brilliant idea. How about you set aside profits for one second and don’t allow employees to answer phones until they have been trained on all policies and procedures. Oh I forgot, policy number one is don’t let the phone ring more than twice, nevermind the catastrophic fallout that might occur when Rookie Randy answers. Whiskey Tango Foxtrotin Foxtrot is this shit. Now of course if you were to bring any of this to the Overlords attention, guess what you’re gonna get? That's right, Rationalization of one's own actions while continuing to not hold oneself accountable. 

Rationalizing Retards are what these morons sound like on a daily basis. That’s right West Point, Enlisted do know how to read. Instead of reflecting on their actions and devising a plan to fix anything, they rationalize how they had no other choice but to do or say what was done or said. Thus their businesses and lives continue to spiral into an abyss of their own shit. Good luck Target, you fuckin idiots. “Justify, Excuse and Go Home” is the civilian motto.

This fuckin guy!

Fortunately for everyone, that’s not you. You hold yourself accountable at every corner and never rationalize your actions into justifiable reasons with inadequate facts. And you fear absolutely nothing, except for spiders and maybe some other weird shit but absolutely not fighting for your country. So if you’ve ever Been All You Could Be, Few And Proud, or maybe you were Forged By The Sea and Aim High to Fly, Fight and Win, or even if you were just Born Ready, Happy Fucking Veterans Day. Even you Coast Guard. 

Fuck you National Guard.