Not all things are as they appear. Just like Obama’s birth certificate, FDR never submitted medical records proving he ever had or was diagnosed with polio. Blanket over the legs because he was cold? Please. Everyone at the Muscle Gym knew what that blanket was hiding… TREE TRUNKS. I’ve seen the footage from Easter 1935. The only paralysis the dude had that day was straight up squat induced paralyses. I know a beefcake when I see one. Closing the White House grounds because of World War 2 threats? How many attacks occurred on U.S. soil after the declaration of war? ZERO that’s right, not a one. So why close access to the public? It’s obvious that by 1941 homeboy was feeling it. Growing increasingly anxious from constantly having to kick Nazi and Jap asses he needed a release, and how does a beefcake release those nerves? Iron fucking Mikes thats how. And the kind of Iron Mikes FDR was doing required the entirety of the White House Lawn. So why conceal the truth and hide those Meat Pillars? Two reasons. First, no way this dude was gonna get elected with those Legs of Whey. This was a depression and you don't become The Hamma Hocks of Hyde Park by standing in the soup line. No, you need protein, a literal shit ton. Second, Cousin Teddy. Thats right, Theodore fuckin Roosevelt. You see Teddy always knew that if he kept up the whole asthma scharade he wouldn't have had to get the Presidency by default. So he talked FDR into faking the whole polio thing just to keep it in the family and I'm not talking about his wife. And thats how he became the one, the only, the Capital Calfzilla, the Wrecking Wheels of Washington, the Protein Pillars of Pennsylvania Avenue, Franky “Drumsticks Deluxe” Roosevelt.
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